People can say all they want about the problems social media causes, but there is no denying that it is one of the most popular ways for people to connect today. Chances are you can relate to what is now an almost universal experience: sneaking into your old college roommate's questionable Twitter account, or having fun on Facebook because several of your high school classmates are now involved in MLM schemes. Although they may seem almost like parasocial relationships considering how estranged you are from some of your former peers, many people also develop real connections with their online acquaintances.
Making friends as an adult can be difficult, but interacting through social media is definitely one way to make it easier. While some may consider them superficial, your Instagram acquaintances may actually be strong contenders to join your real-life social circle. You might have the same interests, hobbies, mutual friends, or even just a similar aesthetic; regardless, if you think you might actually be able to drink with your Instagram friends, it's worth a try. “Online friendships often turn into real-life friendships,” says Erin S. Levine, Ph.D., a psychologist, friendship expert, and creator of The Friendship Blog. “Social media gives us the opportunity to meet more people than we normally would offline.”
It only takes a little skill to turn an online friendship into a real-life friendship. If you're craving platonic photos with an IG friend, here are some expert tips to help you turn your Instagram acquaintance into a real-life friend.
How to make friends on Instagram
Check this out first: After you've liked each other's posts enough, responded to each other's stories, and hyped each other up in the comments, it might be time to turn your digital connection into a physical one. Before you do that, though, make sure the person has checked out, Levine says. "It's prudent to get to know as much as you can about someone before suggesting a face-to-face meeting," she tells Bustle, noting that it can be helpful to look at social media profiles outside of IG, even if they're not related to you The same taste in music or a fondness for the local thrift store scene.
Propose a get-together: Once you've decided that you want to have an in-person get-together, the method of proposing a real-life get-together is entirely up to you and your comfort level. If texting them out of the blue and buying them coffee makes you feel like a monster, maybe discuss their recent trip digitally or how cute their dog is and see if they continue the conversation with you.
Friendship and relationship expert Dr. Melanie Rose Mills says think of it like a game of poker: You put in a chip, wait for them to do the same, and then — ideally — it continues, This way you begin to lay the foundation for your relationship. "It can lead to a satisfying friendship when you both reciprocate," she tells Busy.
Move from private messages to text messages: Levin recommends offering a text message service so you can chat outside of the app and then plan a date with friends when the time comes. This can make things more personal and may make you feel more comfortable suggesting hanging out, like you would with an older friend.
Go somewhere safe: To be extra cautious , just in case , Levin recommends planning your first get-together in a safe, public place and giving yourself an opportunity to "get out" (like to a doctor's appointment or other appointment) so You're under no obligation to stay if things get awkward for too long.
Keep an open mind: If you do end up meeting, Levine says, it's best to go in with an open mind and keep your expectations at a reasonable level. "Keep in mind that it's easy for people to make false appearances and project a different image of themselves behind electronic screens," she said. Even if you both have Great Danes and frequent the same trendy cocktail bars in the neighborhood, there's still a chance you won't be good friends in real life — and that's OK.
Take your time: If you and your IG friend start hanging out together and get really active, Levine says you can approach the process of building a strong friendship with them like you would any other relationship: Take your time. "A close friendship takes time to develop as two people get to know each other," she says. "Give the relationship the time it needs to grow. Gradually, two people will start to feel comfortable enough to reveal their true selves to each other."
How to handle rejection when your Instagram friends don't want to meet up
Shooting in any capacity can be nerve-wracking, even if it's just to become offline friends. As Levine mentioned, it's important not only to lower your expectations if things don't go your way, but Mills also said you shouldn't take it personally if your IG acquaintance doesn't want to eat something.
"It's easy for people to worry, second-guess or overthink what they did wrong, or that they don't approve of you for some reason," Mills said. Levine added that some people have too much going on in their lives to truly commit to building new friendships. No matter how things turn out, you can still be proud of yourself for jumping in and trying new connections.
expert:
Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., psychologist, friendship expert, creator of Friendship Blog
Dr. Melanie Ross Mills , Friendship and Relationship Expert
