I did intermittent fasting for about five years until March of this year. My version of IF is pretty easy—basically “skip breakfast, drink coffee”—but I love the simplicity of it and the impact it has had on my life.
I know the research on IF is complex and not for everyone, but it sure worked for me. Then again, I started fasting around the same time I stopped drinking and started eating healthier, so it's hard to say exactly what caused it, but I lost about 20 or 30 pounds in the first few years, Feel much better. IF also frees up a part of my day that I love: I didn’t anticipate how enjoyable it would be to not have to buy, prepare, and clean up an entire meal (breakfast). It’s like emptying out a third of my closet, or a third of my calendar, freeing it up for other things. Also, for years I thought I could never skip breakfast, but it’s nice to know I was wrong and my body can adapt.
I also love the sense of control and freedom that IF provides, and it fits my rule-loving personal style: don’t eat, unless you eat. Then don't do it again. But you can eat whatever you want. Knowing that I “can” eat whatever I want ultimately allows me to enjoy making healthier choices. Very good!
But I got pregnant earlier this year and the IF went away immediately.
Basically, I woke up one day feeling super sick, like I'd always had a hangover. I wanted to vomit but I couldn't and I stayed in that stage for hours. sky! Months! (Okay, I exaggerated, but not too much!) Eventually I discovered that eating, especially protein, helped with the nausea, and from that moment on I was eating constantly (or every few hours, including all night).
Honestly, it kind of sucks to have to come up with so many meals all the time. Like, I can only eat yogurt and fruit so many times a day. I went from putting in a little extra effort to cook two meals a day to now randomly throwing together six or eight giant snacks. Sometimes it feels like I've never gone without food.
But at the same time, somehow I'm most surprised at how little impact giving up IF has had on my life. Technically I had gained a lot of weight and my life felt completely different, but giving up IF didn't feel like the way I thought it would. I guess I thought that was the real key to my life, but I guess I was wrong. If I gave it an 8 out of 10 before, I'd give it about a 4 now.
I think a part of me was really worried that my life would spiral out of control if I gave up. I can also see more clearly that I may have been a little too attached to my fasting habit and perhaps attributed too many things in my life (health, fitness, happiness) to it, because in so many ways, fasting has been so important to me The impact is so small. That has changed since I gave it up. Maybe I think this is too much of a solution. In that respect, I'm glad and humbled by the realization that the routine I'm so attached to may not be as necessary as I thought.
But it's what I miss most. It felt good on a deeper level, and I didn't kid myself: I really enjoyed eating and living that way. I'm not depriving myself. Without the hunger demon, I kept drowning in coffee and pretending it didn’t exist. I miss eating a hearty, delicious meal when I'm hungry. I miss not having to eat all the time. I miss being hungry. I'm really tired of it! ! I realize I'm tempting fate by saying this, but after a while, it's a drag. Like parents forcing their kids to smoke a whole pack of cigarettes or something. Oh, don’t you want to eat three meals a day? How about eating eight?
The weight gain experience was also nothing like I imagined. After having fun with IF weight loss, I found that watching the weight come back felt like I was sabotaging my own work, but instead, I loved seeing the number on the scale go up - feeling like I was doing a good job – and it’s so fun and weird to watch my body change. I love walking around naked and looking in the mirror!
For me, giving up a routine can often feel scary— what if I never get it back? What if I gave up everything I worked for? What if I lose all control and let my whole life go crazy? ——But this is not a loss, but a gain. I guess it's a little tacky, maybe too neat, but there's an element of relief, like I thought the crutches needed to walk weren't so necessary after all. Still, I prefer walking with a cane. Maybe that's not the best metaphor.
