7 common things people have trouble forgiving in relationships

It’s always a good idea to have an open heart because people are not perfect and will inevitably mess up. When you're in a relationship, there's a lot of value and love there, so it's often necessary to forgive and move on in order to maintain the partnership. However, there are some things that are unforgivable in a relationship, and this could be a big problem that affects just you and your partner, or even a few other people (of course, it could be worse). If you're stuck and want to forgive but you just can't, know that you're probably not at fault. Sometimes, it's best to hold on to a grudge and get out of a toxic relationship.

As a certified health coach, I work with clients to build rewarding, healthy relationships with significant others as well as friends and family. It can be hard to deal with when people disappoint you or make you angry, but hopefully you can make up your mind, forgive, and move on. However, in rare cases, there is no room for forgiveness simply because whatever the argument or behavior was, it was too offensive to overcome. While you may still love this person, it won't be good for your long-term happiness, and regardless, the relationship will never be the same. Here are 7 things you may never forgive and you shouldn't feel bad about.

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1. Physical abuse

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Abuse will never be tolerated and there is nothing wrong with not condoning it. When it comes to your significant other, if there's any physical violence, it can be difficult to get over it and still have a loving, comfortable relationship. However, it's even worse when it comes to children, which can be unforgivable from both the spouse or partner's perspective and the children's perspective once the children grow up and understand gravity, relationship coach Jessica Herndon (Jessica Herndon) explained in an email with Bustle. . Accidents can and will happen, but injury is not intentionally caused. "Adults know the difference between right and wrong, children are still learning. As adults, we must be role models. Abuse causes trauma and/or teaches abuse and that is absolutely inexcusable," Herndon said.

2. Cheating without remorse

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While some people may be more willing to understand and repair the relationship, other times cheating is unforgivable, and that's entirely true because it shows a level of disrespect - especially when the person doesn't seem to feel anything about it Very bad times. Vikki Ziegler, a well-known divorce attorney, relationship expert, author of "The Prenuptial Planner" and star of BRAVO TV's "Untied ," said in an email to Bustle that daily and intentional inconsistencies Respectful behavior should not be excused.

3. Keep lying

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This may have something to do with cheating, but it's usually just lying. If your partner consistently lies to you, he or she is not trustworthy, which is disrespectful and dishonest behavior that can be unforgivable in a relationship, Ziegler says. Discuss it with your partner and if he or she continues to lie and can't change, it's time to call it a day.

4. Emotional abuse

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Most relationship failures, romantic or not, are the result of low emotional intelligence, which may show up in the form of strong emotional reactions and hostility during arguments. "Especially those who are unable to control triggers and emotional escalations can become 'acid rain' that erodes relationships," relationship therapist Russ Palmer says in an email to Bustle.

5. No responsibility

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For some, this becomes an unforgivable attribute, perhaps because of the high likelihood of repeating behaviors and patterns. “The one thing I consider someone ‘unforgivable’ and not worthy of a second chance is if they fail to accept responsibility or show remorse Rabbi Bregman, a rabbi and matchmaker in New York City said in an email to Bustle.

6. Jealousy

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Of course, if your partner is openly flirting, jealousy may be justified. However, if your partner is always jealous for no reason, it could mean you're in a toxic relationship that isn't built on trust and love. Over time, this can be unforgivable because it demonstrates a lack of assurance about the strength of the relationship.

7. Tendency to control

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If your partner tries to control your thoughts and actions, likes, dislikes, friend group, etc., that's probably inexcusable because it shows a lack of respect and a scary, overbearing nature. A good example is if your partner is snooping on you, such as reading your text messages or looking through your diary. He or she may then use this information to change you or manipulate you.

If your partner engages in any of these toxic behaviors, it may be time to end the relationship. Of course, this will vary from person to person, as some people are more tolerant of things than others, but in general, these behaviors are worthy of resentment.