My first swingers sex party got off to a bad start. I was shocked when I arrived and realized my boyfriend and I were the only ones not wearing masks. Somehow I missed the memo. If I were wearing one of Rihanna's see-through dresses, I would feel less exposed.
But I finally attended this legendary event! After months of convincing, I convinced my boyfriend to go with me. A friend of mine was doing this and offered us free admission, which was an opportunity not to be missed. Because it was "invite only," we had to submit photos to the host in order to participate. Afterwards we received an email with detailed instructions on how to get to the location and told to wear evening wear.
We also dressed up – minus the damn masks. I already felt vulnerable, and being in the middle of a group of about twenty strangers wearing masks made me even more nervous. Thankfully, there is a bar. I drank a glass of champagne and immediately felt better, quickly forgetting about not wearing a mask.
Everyone was well dressed; ladies in evening gowns and gentlemen in suits. We hooked up in a fancy private apartment in Hollywood that looked like any normal costume party themed party, and my boyfriend and I never left each other's side.
Until they squeezed us into the living room, surrounded by a burlesque dancer in a corset and fishnet stockings who sat on a chair. I sat on the couch next to her and my boyfriend sat on the arm of the couch next to me. The stereo starts playing a slow and sultry version of Britney Spears' "Toxic" and the dancers begin to sway seductively and restrain themselves with leather handcuffs.
The room was quiet as she started dancing, until it got louder and louder at the end, when she took off her corset and shook her pasties in perfect circles. After this, people started to socialize more and moved to the bedrooms, talking quietly while lying on the bed.
I walked around and chatted with most of the crowd. Based on my experience that night, here is a list of five types of people you’ll typically encounter at a swingers party.
network worker
I spoke to a couple who were clearly not cut out for sex. A few minutes into our conversation, after I told the woman I was a reporter and producer, the woman handed me a business card from her photo studio. She launched into a monologue about the popularity of boudoir photography and suggested I write a story about her and her husband's studio. The couple left while the party was still drinking and chatting, missing all the events that followed.
It’s not surprising that people attend swingers parties just to bond. Most of the people who attend this invitation-only event are wealthy people, because membership fees are not cheap, and entry usually requires knowing someone in the circle, so they are usually professionals who can help business. Hey – there’s nothing wrong with thinking outside the box to get away from standard, boring social events.
advantage
There were several people, both men and women, who all looked so handsome . Especially since these two showed up about an hour into the party looking like Dolce & Gabbana models in black suits. Although they appear together, they are definitely not gay, hanging out on the fringes of the crowd, casually looking around the room, and talking to those who approach them. While women can attend most swingers parties alone, men often need to bring women with them or they won't show up at all. Therefore, the fact that these two studs were allowed to enter separately makes their purpose very obvious.
Every good swingers party needs a few instigators, and the only way to ensure that is to hire some professionals. This doesn't necessarily mean they are prostitutes - people like my friend are paid to be there, but to maintain the atmosphere and encourage people to socialize, not to fuck them.
those who were dragged there
One of the first people to greet us when we arrived was a young couple in their 20s. They look so good and effortless together. After a while, when I went downstairs to the bathroom, I saw them in the empty corridor, the girl with tears streaming down her face, and the boy with a confused and amused look on his face. "I don't want to-" That was the last sob I heard before I turned the corner. I feel bad for this girl, I guess she was dragged into this decadent party by her boyfriend.
Although I also reluctantly let my boyfriend attend against his will, we had a mutual agreement that we could leave at any time if either of us wanted to. The couple who really weeps needs to work through some issues before entering the lion's den.
Experts
A few hours later, things got heated at the party when several people climbed onto one of the beds and started massaging each other. They were having their own little thing - I didn't venture close enough to participate - but I could hear snippets of their conversation, and they were talking about previous parties and naughty things they'd done. They later collaborated and had sex in public.
These are the real experts; these are the people who have been to many swingers parties and know exactly what they want, how they want it and who they want to be with. Swingers clubs rely primarily on annual membership fees, so it can be said that these guys are the life and blood of the party.
voyeur
Others, like me on this occasion, attend sex parties to watch other people having sex. I spoke to another young couple, also in their 20s, who were also visiting for the first time. The four of us had a nice long chat about Europe (my boyfriend is from Italy). The guy also bought us drinks. I met them again later and watched what was going on in the "blowjob room" as we were heading out.
In the end, I was satisfied with my first sex party experience, even though I didn't attend it myself. I discovered that it's not just about a group of people wanting to get laid: it's about providing a safe environment to satisfy your curiosity and desires without fear of judgment. We all have some sexy thoughts deep down inside of us, and this seems like the perfect place to see them play out, or even make them come true.
Image: Yoonj Kim, Getty
