BBW is not a particularly difficult term to define. As Urban Dictionary will tell you, it stands for "large, beautiful woman." In other words, it's just another euphemism for "fat." Like all euphemisms for fat—whether curvy, sexy, plus-sized, queen-sized, husky, curvy, plump, round, etc.—it has its fair share of differences. Some find a great deal of empowerment in the three-letter acronym, while others decry its association with pornography and thus its role in the sexualization of women. But here’s the thing: “BBW” is associated with the world of pornography, and subsequently with the aforementioned sexualization of women and female humans. But the key thing to note here is that it's primarily about the sexualization of fat women. Or in other words, for most women who grew up hearing about how undesirable their fat bodies were.
Aside from Gabourey Sidibe’s sex scene in Empire last month, I’ve never seen a fat babe on my TV screen (let alone one of color The fat baby) was shaken by this incident. Sex talk in the media is mostly about thin cis women and thin cis men. Even though The CW's sex scenes are filled with hot and teen-friendly scenes, I never saw a fat vampire in Ian Somerhalder's bed or a plus-size woman in a corner of 90201. There's very little fat sex in movies. So the idea that people are actually sexually attracted to fat bodies, well, that has to be a myth, right?
Well, it’s not a myth; That's why I'm always so fascinated by BBW descriptors. Although BBW is more polarizing than the deliciousness debate of bubble tea, to me, BBW has always been an acknowledgment. This confirms that fat people are having sex; that fat people can feel the sexual power of their own bodies; that people are attracted to other people's fat bodies.
When talking to body positivity activists or supporters, I often encounter the argument that “BBW” is too closely associated with the fat fetish community to empower women. As Wikipedia will confirm, "It is often used in the context of fat fetishism," where "fat fetish" can be translated as "feedism or acquisition, in which sexual satisfaction comes not only from the fat itself, but also from the acquisition process,” or helping others gain body fat, fat fetishism also includes stuffing and stuffing, while arousal focuses on real or simulated feelings and properties of the increase. "
Feederism is a sexual behavior typically rooted in a feeder/feeder dynamic, where the feeder is the person who seeks sexual satisfaction by helping their partner gain weight, and the feeder seeks sexual satisfaction by gaining weight themselves people. Independent gainers are often considered "feeders" who gain weight for their own pleasure even without the help of a partner, while co-gainers participate in shared gain. But as an anonymous writer at xoJane points out, most public conversations about feederism “treat the feeder as some kind of helpless victim, coerced into eating,” adding, “In my opinion , the idea that a woman (the feeder is usually (but not always) female) who may like to eat large amounts of food and gain weight must be 'tricked'" despite the idea that all women who identify with alternative sexual orientations must be manipulated. , this view is controversial, but I'd bet it's this fear that inspires people's aversion to the BBW label. After all, it's a label that's often used in porn, which means it's often used in fat porn, which means it's often used in feeding porn, which means it has to be associated with the abuse of women.
I completely understand not wanting to be thought of solely in terms of my body, so the "I'm not a fetish" mantra I see on social media hashtags makes total sense in that regard. But I cannot support the fact that when fetishes are presented to us in the form of conventionally beautiful celebrities, they are often deemed acceptable, and when presented to us in bodies that are far removed from beauty standards, they are deemed worthy defamation. Set by the mainstream. Sex, like gender, is a very fluid thing. We all have our own preferences, quirks, and things we like and dislike about our partners. However, when it comes to expressing fat sexuality, it's like we build ourselves a nice little wall behind which we can pretend that fat people can't get laid, or don't want to get laid, or think about getting laid.
However, "fetish", like "BBW" itself, is not necessarily a dangerous word. As with any sexual act, there are always some nasty people who subscribe to it. But these people are not supposed to represent the entire community. These people should not represent beautiful models who are fighting for their own sexual rights. Or fat wannabes who want to be honest about their preferences without being considered perverse because of it. As Bustle's Courtney Mina writes about embracing the term BBW, "The 'fetish' community [...] gave me a safe space to explore. When I finally felt the freedom to be sexy , I Being able to start doing the same thing in all other aspects of my life, I feel stronger and more empowered as a woman and I'm certainly more confident after accepting that I'm a BBW. ”
We live in a culture where people constantly say "fat isn't sexy," "fat chicks are not allowed," or "fat is disgusting," without the disclaimer of "in my opinion," preventing This statement is inconsistent with the facts. But these statements are factually incorrect because no one has the right or ability to define what is or is not attractive to anyone else.
Of course, like every industry in the world, pornography has its problems, and its links to sexism and misogyny have been discussed for decades. But we need to start talking about the fact that women watch porn too. Because of the latter fact, seeing the BBW tag on porn sites can only be a good thing - people of all genders can seek out representations of sexual bodies in these centers that aren't typically represented or validated in most other media Sexual bodies, and these media can actually allow for it.
Chances are, as the fight for visibility, inclusivity, and equality for all things plus-size continues, we'll start to see "BBW" take on more and more positive connotations. Heck, Drake has arguably helped make that happen in his own way. In the meantime, putting aside our personal opinions on porn, I recommend continuing to think of BBW as what it stands for: a depiction of big, beautiful women, but for the most part, most of the mainstream still considers them Unsightly and unattractive. culture. To serve as an outlet for people to express their thoughts and interpretations of fat sexuality, whatever that means to them. At the end of the day, fat people are starting to do it too, and there's absolutely no shame in realizing that.
Image: HMSVintage/Marie Southard Ospina (1); Urban Dictionary (1); Stacey Torres Art /Etsy (1)
