As Valentine's Day approaches, the pressure to buy something nice for the one you love is increasing by the day, unless you're one of those super cool couples who just love each other without exchanging gifts of monetary value. (If you think Valentine's Day attendees fall into the only two camps, I'm here to shatter your illusions.) No matter which camp you fall into, I would suggest a middle ground - find something to name your Valentine's Day, And then that's it.
Because really, there is no other way to make everyone happy. Think about how many groups we fall into: There are those who care deeply about Valentine’s Day and go all out for it. Some people just don't care. There are single people, people who have recently broken up, and there are "we're in a weird period where we don't know if we're a couple" people. Let’s also not forget those who ironically care about Valentine’s Day, or those who care about the perfect Valentine’s Day but don’t know what to get their loved ones. I'm a "kind of like the idea of Valentine's Day, but don't like celebrating it in the most cliche way" person, so I always look forward to non-traditional gifts. I love how obscure, personal and weird they are . Just like my man.
The best gifts have thoughtful thought behind them. They are meaningful and heartfelt. Don't get me wrong, some people like expensive gifts and I don't blame them for that, but I love a good story. So here's a list of some a little wacky, a little weird things for you to deal with this year. A collection of weird things named after your Valentine.
Warning: some of these items are completely unfeasible for your budget, others are a piece of cake, but all of them are for the sake of lol.
1. star
Isn’t it super romantic to look up at the night sky and point at one of them to tell your significant other that it’s theirs? Maybe you could spend the day and have a picnic under the moonlight?
Custom Star Naming Kit, $54 , www.starregistry.com
2. Highway
America is connected by roads. It's a very impressive system, while we were frustrated by their traffic. What better way to celebrate someone you love than to name a part of the transportation system after them? Imagine driving down Route 66 and seeing a plaque commemorating them. #bless.
*To do this, you must contact your local state legislator and appeal through the Senate or Assembly.
3. Neopet
If your partner is a gamer or someone who used to love Neopets, naming it after a little creature would be great. Just remember to feed them so they don't "starve" and die when you give them to your partner.
*You will need to create a Neopets account or somehow log into your old middle school account to complete this.
4. Sandwiches
If you make a sandwich and name it after someone you love, they'll probably love you for it. Especially at an artisanal sandwich shop in Brooklyn.
*This requires patience and skill. Here are some detailed instructions on how to accomplish this task .
5.Perfume
Create a signature scent that reminds you of your partner and name it after them. This way you look smart and thoughtful.
Custom perfume, $80, unique scent
6. New elements in the periodic table
For those who prefer science to fun, why not discover a new element and name it "Amy" or "Sarah" or "Drew" or "Marcus"? For this, all you need is a degree in chemistry and years of research and brainstorming, with little appreciation from others.
7. Novels/screenplay roles
Just remember to choose a good character. It can be the villain or the protagonist, as long as it’s written well.
8. Musical works/songs
There's something so romantic about writing a song for someone and including your significant other's name. Do you know how many people have gotten pregnant because they heard a song with their name on it? a lot of. A lot of people.
9. A ship*
*While this is a romantic move, it requires purchasing, owning and maintaining a boat.
10. Band**
**This also requires you to have and maintain a band. The step above is simply including someone's name in the song. Warning: you won't have a great time if the band breaks up.
11. Ice cream flavor
I would love to sit down and share a few spoonfuls of Dasha on a Valentine's Day afternoon.
Personalized ice cream, $85 , www.ecreamery.com
12. Charity
Start a charity in someone's name. Not only will it make you happy, but it will also help others.
13. A cocktail
An alcoholic drink named after me? Hello. marry me? You need to convince the bartender that this is a good idea. You can also make one at home and name it after your loved one.
14. Sexual intercourse positions
I'm trying to engage and inspire all audiences. Some people are very adventurous in bed, and if that person creates a mind-blowing sex act, I want everyone to do it Dasha style.
15. High Score
There's nothing like seeing your name used to describe you as the best at something. To achieve this, you'll need to spend several hours and many quarters with Dave and Busters.
Good luck to everyone this Valentine's Day. Hope you and your loved ones have a truly special one.
Image source: Giphy, Phanu Ratn Phung Kracang / EyeEm/EyeEm/Getty Images
