Think of a cute encounter in a romantic comedy: two strangers might be sheltering from the rain in the same doorway, or their dogs' leashes might be tangled up in the park. Just like that, they fell in love. But a viral trend on TikTok called "Invisible String Theory" suggests that true encounters are a series of missed connections that ultimately lead you to The One.
Invisible string theory suggests you can be deeply connected to your future partner. It is similar to the red thread of fate that originated in Japanese and Chinese folklore. This concept is also referenced in Taylor Swift's song "Invisible String," which is said to be about ex-boyfriend Joe Alwyn, in which she in talks about a new romantic relationship that feels instantly familiar. "Is there any clue that I didn't see? Isn't it wonderful to think that there was an invisible rope that tied you to me all along," she sings.
Maybe you were in the same class in fifth grade, unknowingly played flip cup at the same party in college, or randomly visited a museum in Italy on the same day in 2014. The theory goes that when the invisible strings come into play, you won't officially be in each other's lives - or fall in love - until the time is right.
According to spiritual mentor Erin Panzarella, couples who are connected by invisible cords often "just miss each other" multiple times before they finally start dating. "On an energetic level, this theory represents the fact that everything is divinely timed and all experiences lead you to the people you are destined to meet in this life," she tells Bustle.
While this may sound like something out of a movie magic trick, many people have experienced this theory in real life.
accidental birthday
“When [my mom] visited me in the delivery room the night I was born, I was the only baby there,” said Ellie, 30, who was born in Connecticut. "But when she came back in the early hours of the next morning, there was another baby in the bassinet next to me," she told Busy. That child happened to be her future husband, Henry.
Their mothers later met at a baby group. As children, Ellie and Henry attended the same summer camp and even took ballroom dancing classes together. The kids remained friends until they parted ways in high school and college.
After graduation, they both moved to New York City and happened to rent apartments a block apart. "Somehow we never bumped into each other on the street," she said. Two years later, the two were reintroduced at a dinner party for mutual friends.
When they realize they are both single, they realize they are destined to remain single. They began dating and married four years later.
The couple often thinks about how many little details had to be exactly right for them to meet, like how Henry's parents had lived in Paris and only moved back to the United States a month before he was born, and how Ellie's siblings were born in New York City , but her parents decided at the last minute to seek treatment in Connecticut.
"When we got our marriage license before our wedding, we compared our birth certificates for the first time," she said. "They have consecutive ID numbers in the top corners, which confirms that we were born one after the other."
Many strings attached
A story like Ellie's may seem impossible until you realize how many others have similar stories. On TikTok, creator @lucia.geoff said she went to college with her current boyfriend. They often attended the same clubs and parties and even studied in the same library, but they were not friends. It was not until many years later that they met each other while on vacation in Bali, on the other side of the world. That's when they started talking and eventually fell in love.
In her comments, one person said, "This needs to be made into a movie," while another wrote, "I got chills down my spine reading this." Another said, "It feels like the universe has finally arrived." , while another shared their own unseen string moment. "My husband's childhood best friend was my neighbor and he spent a lot of time at home. We didn't meet until college."
The couple often thinks about how many little details had to be perfect for them to meet.
Then there's creator @joyyful, who spotted her current partner in the background of one of her childhood photos. They were just kids off the school bus, but they didn't know each other at the time, and they didn't officially meet until ten years later. Now, she calls herself a "strong believer" in invisible string theory, which she says allows your person to "hide in plain sight" until the universe decides it's time for you to meet.
Bustle's senior fashion editor Kelsey Stiegman also has a story. “My aunt and uncle met through a classified ad he placed in the newspaper in the early 2000s,” she said. "They hit it off right away and my aunt eventually told her sister she was seeing someone and her sister said, 'Oh my gosh, I've worked with him before. I've been wanting to set you two up for years.'" It was not until their first date. It's been 27 years and they are still together.
Does the universe know best?
Invisible string theory can be a comforting thought, especially if you're single and looking. But you can also easily get swept up in romance, which is something to keep in mind if you find yourself in a relationship that seems destined.
Najamah Davis, a licensed clinical social worker, says it's important to have a balanced perspective so you're not just relying on an invisible string when you start dating. Sure, it might make for a cutesy story, but she says it's important to make sure you're actually a good match by paying attention to your compatibility.
"While it's nice to feel a sense of destiny, having realistic expectations about relationships is crucial to building a healthy and successful partnership," she says. Even if you have a similar past or a cute crossover, you'll know you've truly found Mr. Right if you have shared values, good communication, and a solid sense of security and respect.
It's also okay to let go of a relationship if you realize it's not working well. As Davis says, "Some people may stay together because of their belief that they're 'meant to be' or because of the romantic way they met," but beware of this rose-tinted view. "While belief in invisible string theory may be fascinating, individuals must actively work to understand their partner and build a strong and healthy relationship based on real-world dynamics." This will help your relationship stand the test of time.
When your values align and you genuinely enjoy each other's company, great things will follow—no strings attached.
source:
Erin Panzarella , Spiritual Director
Najamah Davis, MSW, LCSW , Licensed Clinical Social Worker
