As someone who fully embraces a sex-positive lifestyle, it's natural that I'm also a major advocate for sexting. There is no harm in exchanging sexy pictures and texts if both parties are at peace and trust each other. Whether it's with a FWB or a long-term partner, you have every right to sext and have zero shame about it. Not only is flirting fun, but studies have found that people who sext are more satisfied with their relationships. If sexting isn't your thing, you certainly shouldn't feel pressured, but sexting someone you're interested in has many surprising benefits and shouldn't be underestimated as a form of modern foreplay.
Unfortunately, a lot of people are under the impression that men are always the instigators when it comes to sexting (and sex in general), probably because of the unsolicited dick pics we hear about all the time. While these are definitely not cool—consent is crucial—the fact is that both men and women can enjoy sexting and are capable of making the first move. In fact, an Adam and Eve survey found that women are more likely to sext than men. The assumption that men are always the ones initiating sexting may stem from the outdated notion that men are always horny and women are always shy—an outdated notion that must be abandoned. Women can (and should) enjoy sex just as much as men crave love. Everyone can want both; it's not one or the other.
So now that we've established that gender means nothing when it comes to taking charge and making the first move, we should acknowledge that the stereotype goes deeper than sexting and even manifests itself in the act itself. The gender stereotype that “men are naturally dominant and women are naturally submissive” is extremely damaging because it often leads to people feeling ashamed of their quirks and desires because they are not “traditional” or “normal.” It shouldn't need to be said, but it's true: gender identity/expression has nothing to do with a person's behavior in the bedroom, and having preconceived notions of what someone may or may not like is harmful. No matter who you are, own your sexuality and don't be afraid to communicate your desires honestly and openly to your partner. And wouldn’t you know it—sexting is a completely valid form of communication.
Because emojis are a blessing on earth and the perfect visual aid for sexting, I've put together a list of seven emoji combinations that will show your partner that you're in the mood to take charge in the bedroom - no matter what Is it the first time or the hundredth. (Oh, these are just some suggestions, so feel free to replace some of the emojis with others that more accurately reflect you and your partner!)
1. Sexy striptease
Okay, salsa dancing doesn't necessarily equal stripping, but I don't think your partner is going to complain about free tickets to the show in any way.
2. No pants area
Very clear and to the point. Who would turn down an invitation to a pants-off party?
3. Outbreak of passion
Whether you choose a banana or a kitten, these emojis clearly scream "sexual explosion."
4. Position of power
Man or woman, when you put a face in front of the word "on top," your partner knows you want to take charge in bed.
5. Crime and Punishment
Feel like your partner deserves a spanking? These emojis will tell them who's boss.
6. It’s falling
If you ask me, there's no easier, more fun way to say that blowjobs are on the menu - and you've got a sexy vixen to match.
7. Sweet kiss
Hey, kissing deserves a mention, too. Even if you just want to tell your partner that you're dying to kiss, emojis can help (and probably a lot more).
Photo Credit: Fotolia; Laken Howard/Hustle(7)
