I've tried all kinds of nail shapes. square. Squavar. almond. coffin. You name it and I've submitted my numbers. I don’t hate any of them, except for one: stiletto nails. As a confirmed nail art junkie on Instagram (seriously, I follow like 6k manicurists...someone help me!) I've seen stiletto nails go from being an occasional thing to being in every other picture. Sometimes they look cool. Sometimes they look like the stars of a horror movie, raptors using their claws to exact revenge on people who polluted the environment with improperly disposed nail polish.
But when you're on the fence about something, there's really only one way to form an educated opinion. You have to jump in. In other words – don’t knock it until you try it. At least that's my motto. So I collected crystal nail files and began transforming my long nails into doomed, thin tips. When I shaped the first nail, I knew I was in trouble, but since it was (sort of) for science, I kept going.
Once I style them, I vow to wear them for at least a week to give them a fair chance. It's been a long, scary week. Let me tell you from experience: stiletto nails are the worst. Here are the top five reasons you should never get stiletto nails so you can learn from my manicure fails.
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1. They are dangerous
The week I wore my stiletto nails, I had one thing and one thing only: avoiding blindness. I don't say that to be funny. Every time my hands came near my face, I would frown, afraid of puncturing my glasses and accidentally gouging out my own eyeballs. I scratched my face like a baby. I had a hole punched in my favorite pair of leggings. I won't go into how dangerous they are during sexy times, but I'm sure you can use your imagination.
2. They waste good side armor
Forget about side boobs. The side studs are where it's at. Unless you touch up your nails with acrylics or gels, fine nails will require you to file away most of your precious growth. Do you know how many soda cans I couldn't open myself just to get that side stud? Just thinking about it makes my heart ache.
3. They collapse
The pointy tip doesn't stay in place for very long. Think of them like a freshly sharpened pencil. I only had my thin nails for just three days and one of them broke. So many dirty words!
4. People will be mean to you
The second worst thing about wearing stiletto nails (the first being the constant fear of going blind) is that everyone's face contorts when they see them. For something so popular on Instagram, people do have extreme and primal reactions when they see it in person. Of course, you should never change something you enjoy doing just because others disapprove, but it's still not a fun experience.
5. They won’t be here long anyway
According to Cosmopolitan , 2015 will be the swansong for extreme nail shapes. A more natural look consistent with the shape of your cuticles will dominate.
Image: aleja_santiago / Instagram; jiffy (5)
