I've had a long list of HFILFs since 11th grade AP U.S. History - historical figures I'd like to list, etc. , so I feel for the love of Warren G. Harding's recent exposé in The New York Times Magazine Very happy with the letters. Wish they were Alexander Hamilton's!
Since the Times story was published, I’ve been scouring the internet in a hair-raising search for sexy historical love letters (and excerpts). I thought if I shared them with you, it would be as if I had been doing it for journalism or something. Here are some of my favorite nerdy, dirty, NSFW picks:
1. Charles Bukowski to Linda King
I love this old xoJane story about guys who basically walk the earth jerking off to the sullen, misogynistic Bukowski. But this? This might actually be JO material. By flavor line:
“Everything you do makes me hotter than hell…” Throwing clay to the ceiling… You bitch, you fiery vixen, you sweet and lovely woman […] I love you and I use mine Fingers feel your pubic hair, the inside of your pussy, wet, hot, I use my feeling fingers; you, against the refrigerator, you have such a wonderful refrigerator, your hair down, wild, you are there, Your wild bird, your wild, hot, lustful, magical […] We’re in Burbank, I’m in love, ultramarine love, my damn good goddess, my stimulator, my bitch, The throbbing hairy pussy of me my my heaven, I love you...and your refrigerator, that carved with his lyrical, cynical love as we grabbed and wrestled Smile, burning... look at us.
I want you,
I want you,
I want you
You you you you you you! "
Like, I don’t know. I might.
2. Sid Vicious vs. Nancy Spungen
Apparently, the letter was written before the Sex Pistols musician allegedly murdered Nancy in 1978. From Co.Design:
"What makes Nancy so great Sidney
1 Beautiful 2 Sexy 3 Beautiful body 4 Has a great sense of humor 5 Very interesting to talk to 6 Witty 7 Has beautiful eyes 8 Has great dressing sense 9 Has the most beautiful wet pussy in the world 10 Even has sexy feet 11 Very smart 12 A great liar”
Priorities: Good sense of humor, then pussy, then smarts. Good to know.
3. Frida Kahlo to Diego Rivera
This lyrical note captures one of the sweetest moments between two Mexican painters, whose relationship was notoriously rocky. By BrainPickings:
"There is nothing like your hands, nothing like your green-gold eyes. My body is filled with you, day after day. You are the mirror of the night. The fierce lightning. The moisture of the earth. Empty. Your armpits are my refuge, and to touch your blood with my fingers is to feel life pouring from your fountain, filling all my nerve paths. ”
What do you think - is my mind stuck in the gutter, or is this just a little bit slutty?
4. James Joyce vs. Nora Barnacle
Renowned modernist writer and scatological enthusiast James Joyce had some thoughts he wanted to share with his muse and wife. via Buzzfeed:
“In moments like this I feel so angry and want to do it the dirty way, feel your hot and lustful lips sucking me, fuck between your two rosy little dicks, cum on your face , squirt it on your hot cheeks and eyes , stick it between your butt cheeks to molest you."
To be honest, I don’t necessarily like using the Jewish nickname “grandma” instead of “breasts.”
5. Georgia O’Keeffe to Alfred Stieglitz
I love how O'Keeffe, the famous wandering painter, used dashes in letters to her husband, a famous photographer. What a sense of urgency! Via Yahoo Shine:
“Dearest – my body wants you like crazy – if you don’t come tomorrow – I don’t know how I’m going to wait for you – I wonder if your body wants me as much as I want yours The— the kiss—the heat—the moisture—all melted together—held so tightly that it hurt—strangled and struggled .”
His body does , G. Phew.
