There's a lot of discussion about which dating trends are the worst. Ghosting, breadcrumbing, benching, slow fading - there are many options, but they're all terrible. But a new dating trend, "love bombing," is taking over. Because this isn't just a dating trend. It sets the stage for manipulation and even abuse.
First, you need to understand what love bombing is. Refers to a relationship that is too good to be true from the start - too much, too soon? They send you flowers every day, they're obsessed with you, it's just one grand gesture after another.
"I personally believe that love bombing itself is a critical sign that something isn't right," relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein, LCSW, tells Bustle. "People become infatuated with each other quickly, and that's fine. But if someone starts showering you with love and attention too quickly, you have to question their pace and judgment. This person doesn't know you. What the hell is they Missing out on their own lives so much that they quickly fall into a romantic attachment without taking the time to fully assess your situation."
So that might be bad enough, but the real motivation behind love bombing is even worse. Let's be honest, when a partner acts so strong and puts effort and talent into you, they are usually trying to establish themselves in some way. In some ways, this is dangerous.
it disturbs your mood
First, this level of emotion can mess with your mood. It makes everything more intense and puts you in a very vulnerable position. "Some people really like to have relationships that way," Hartstein said. "When two people immediately decide to get involved, they skip the stressful part of 'Will they call?', 'Do they like me?', 'Are we really dating?'. Some people It's hard to live with these unknowns, but the truth is, the love bomber doesn't know you and you don't know them. "So you have all these really strong feelings and put all kinds of emotional energy into people you don't actually know. On the body.
They withdraw that level of affection at will
What goes up, what goes down. Love bombers develop this level of affection just to make it acceptable to them. What a mess. It's very cruel when someone who usually showers you with praise and gifts suddenly refuses to praise you. It makes you feel small, confused, and exposed. Remember, this is after you have invested a lot of yourself in the relationship.
They use it to control and coerce
The worst part about love bombing is that it's all about control. People use it to make the other party feel they are owed something. By suppressing their feelings, they have a good guilt mechanism. So when you want to do normal things (like see a friend or do something without them), they can flip a switch and make you feel like the worst person in the world. Plus, they have a history of being loyal partners, right? So it makes you suspect that they might be the problem because they've shown you so much dedication in the past. This puts you in a completely uncertain position and gives them the upper hand. Honestly, this feels more like gaslighting than just another dating trend.
Of course, all of these dating trends suck. They're inconvenient, they can confuse and frustrate you, and they can get you into trouble. But not like love bombing. Love bombing can leave you vulnerable to manipulation or even abuse. It's a formidable alliance in itself.
