The strategy behind Tinder is simple: You look at a few photos of someone, read their profile, determine if you're attracted to him or her, and then swipe accordingly. Or at least, that's how you should use it. Apparently, a lot of people have a more interesting way to get matched up on the popular hookup app.
It's become an open secret that a lot of people will swipe right on everyone to maximize the number of potential matches, then go through and unmatch people to "weed out" those they don't really like. IMHO this sounds crazy and a bit counterproductive, but nonetheless I decided to try this weird strategy - what's the worst that could happen?
I'll admit, I'm a little nervous: As a woman, part of the reason I'm so picky online is because there are definitely some assholes out there. Submitting myself to misogynistic people on dating apps is no fun, and I was worried that the experiment would end with me talking to a totally creepy guy who would make me feel uncomfortable. But since I only had one day, I figured it wouldn’t be a big deal, and I could block the characters I didn’t like once the experiment was over. I thought this would be a great exercise in broadening your horizons, since it's easy to allow yourself to talk to the same types of people over and over again. Even if it's just for fun, it should be fun to break up the monotony and see what happens when you give everyone a chance. Plus, I'm still single, so obviously something isn't working - maybe I just need to change my routine?
This is what happens when I boldly venture into the world of always swiping right (even if just for a day).
rule:
- I'll swipe right on everyone (limited to 50 people so my phone doesn't actually explode)
- I won't be initiating conversations with any of my new matches because starting dozens of conversations at once would be overwhelming and I want everyone to be on a level playing field
- However, I will reply to anyone who messages me
- I don't try to be nice to everyone; I respond as I see fit
- I will keep matches open for at least 24 hours, at which time I will block or unmatch anyone I am not interested in
slide:
When I started, I already had 1,031 matches (yes...I've been on Tinder for a while), so I'm going to use that number to figure out after browsing 50 lucky (?) men How many new games did I get in a row. I have to admit, I'm so tempted to break the rules and swipe left on some people I've just met - whether through their photos or bios - that I'm simply not compatible with. Plus, part of me feels a little guilty: these guys had no idea they were part of this "experiment" and were probably confused when I later canceled the match with them after chatting. Still, I persevered because the purpose of this exercise was to get me out of my comfort zone. After all, we are all human, and I tried to see what would happen when I was less picky and opened myself up to the idea of at least being friendly with some interesting strangers, regardless of the inherent sexual context of dating apps.
All told, I ended up completing 1,072 matches, which means 41 of the 50 guys I swiped right on also liked me. I'm a little surprised because that's a really good rate of return, but again, who knows how many people have done the same thing as me and simply swiped on everyone?
Contest:
To be honest, competing with most people I swipe right on is nothing new. I don’t say this to brag because I feel like most women have similar experiences on Tinder. Maybe it’s because the pool of attractive women is smaller, or maybe it’s because guys are always swiping right, or maybe it’s my tasteful side-boob shots that give people a certain vibe. For whatever reason, I, like many other women, have become accustomed to men vying for my affection online because there are more men than women on dating apps.
So it's no surprise that game after game keeps popping up, although it's a little annoying since I can't get into swipe mode. I kept having to stop and hit the "continue playing" button because I wasn't going to message these people until they talked to me. Before you lament that I'm one of "those girls" who waits for men to make the first move, you should know that I usually message first, but wanted to keep the experiment fair and didn't want to say hello to 50 people at once.
As much as I sometimes feel like cheating and swiping left "just once," I avoid falling down that slippery slope, and a few minutes later I'm embarrassed that I've received about 40 notifications indicating new matches, which is a bit overwhelming. People are at a loss.
To be honest, most of them don’t look promising. I feel a little weird, like I'm lowering my standards and leading people on even though I know I don't want anything romantically involved with them. For example, a lot of these men seem to be uneducated, or only interested in sex, or like the stereotypical "nice guy" who complains that he's "too good" but women just "don't give him a chance." Of course, if I'm being blunt, I just don't find some people attractive at all. But for the purposes of the experiment, I didn’t immediately eliminate the people I didn’t like—I waited for the news to trickle in.
information:
As I frantically swiped my card, message after message kept popping up and interrupting me—I could barely keep up. I decided to ignore the messages until after I swiped my card and boy did I do a good thing. If I had seen the information I was getting from these characters, I might have given up on the experiment entirely. My suspicions were correct: a lot of creepy-looking guys are like this, and they waste no time sending me messages like "Hey, pretty" or "You're too pretty to be on this app."
I have to admit, this is the part of the experiment where I started cheating (sorry, guys). After seeing some of these messages, I simply couldn't bring myself to respond because I really didn't want to start a conversation with someone I knew I didn't want to talk to. After the guy in the picture above started his whole "nice guy" rant, I knew I couldn't handle an argument with a guy who truly believed he had the right to get responses from women online, so I just blocked him and moved on .
If I'm being 100% honest, I've also seen a few messages and emphatically decided "no, I'm not even going to pretend to be interested in this guy" (see below). While I broke my own preset guidelines with this experiment, I think it really showed how naive I was to think that if I acted like I was interested in every random thing on Tinder, things would change Be beautiful. In fact, the swipe left feature exists for a reason: to filter the matches you get so you don't have to deal with a flood of messages you don't want.
result:
All in all, it was a pretty disastrous experiment. Instead of finding a new, unique connection that made me happy that I "opened my mind," I got what I should have expected: a lot of people who weren't my type, either because they had photos of them only They have abs, can't spell it correctly, or just give off a too desperate vibe (i.e. call me baby immediately).
Sure, it's fun to experiment, but I think the main difference between men's and women's online behavior has a lot to do with the relative swipe strategies we each use. This is a generalization and I know it doesn’t apply to everyone, but I think men can always swipe right because women are generally less likely to initiate conversations. They accumulate a large number of matches, then review them at their leisure, eliminate the ones they don't really like, and start talking to the people they like. However, as I swiped right on everyone, I immediately flooded myself with messages that I had no intention of responding to, so I quickly became overwhelmed.
While I think it's good to be open-minded about online dating, this experiment taught me that you should never sell yourself short if you want to find a quality partner (or even just a hookup partner). Save your Likes and Super Likes to people you really want to get to know, and don't waste anyone's time just because it's "easier" or "faster" to swipe right than to actually view photos. Be confident, go after what you deserve, and who knows—maybe you'll find love on Tinder after all.
Want more of Bustle's sex and relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast I Want That , which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of relationships, and find out more on our Soundcloud page .
Image: Laken Howard/Bustle, Giphy (3)
