In my time, I've seen a lot - a lot - of ridiculous promotions. But what about this? This is truly something special: Frito-Lay has released a giant dorito in honor of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom . (It opens on June 22, in case you forgot about this summer's blockbuster release date schedule.) One might say it's a dinosaur-sized version of Doritos... which is actually bigger than yours. Better to imagine: In fact, the chip has a backstory that fits into the larger Jurassic Park mythology—and it involves dinosaur DNA. Yes, there is a way for you to get it... although it certainly won't be easy.
According to a short video featuring BD Wong as Dr. Henry Wu, the giant snack is the result of Dr. Wu's experiments with dinosaurs and Doritos. Dr. Wu did, in fact, appear briefly in the original Jurassic Park movie (before that, he had a much larger role in Michael Crichton's novel), but he was introduced in Jurassic Park world" takes center stage. Apparently, he's also back in Fallen Kingdom , so we only have a few short days left to find out what he's been up to since. But apparently his antics between movies include splicing dinosaur DNA together with Doritos...well...well, probably not DNA; I really don't think Doritos have DNA. But anyway, Dr. Wu has successfully crossed a Dorito with a dinosaur, and the result is a giant chip that actually hatches from an egg.
This video is ridiculous, but also hilarious, largely because BD Wong is so awesome:
According to Food & Wine, this Dorito measures approximately 10 inches tall; the long side is approximately 11 inches, and the short side is approximately 10.25 inches. Doritos are consistently thick—and for those curious, yes, they have a special flavor: This giant snack is a classic slice of nacho cheese. It comes with its own egg, carefully packaged in a Fallen Kingdom replica prop box.
It looks like this:
However, these images, while cute, don't really convey the scale of things. Luckily though, Bustle HQ managed to get one, so here are some photos of what the crates, eggs, and chips look like in real life:
The crate is about knee-high for an adult, and the eggs and chips are slightly smaller, but equally impressive.
Just for fun, here's how Dino-rito compares to regular Dorito:
If you wanted to own one of these prehistoric chips, though, you'd either be very lucky or very rich. Of course, the quantities available are limited and can only be obtained in two ways. If you're feeling lucky, tweet @Doritos on Twitter using the hashtags #JurassicDoritos and #entry (make sure to use both!) to be entered into the sweepstakes and win one; alternatively, you can visit JurassicDoritos.com and bid on a copy. The domain redirects to an eBay auction, which runs through June 20; where the truly dedicated can drop their hard-earned cash in exchange for a foot-tall Doritos—as long as they Be willing to pay a higher price than others. As of this writing, there have been 22 bids, with the highest bid being a whopping $710.
I'm not going to lie: the moment I saw that number, all I could think was, "Who on earth has $700 to spend on a giant Doritos?!" I mean Yes, if that person is you, then more power to you; I just...can't really fathom having that kind of disposable income.
More importantly, though, the good news is that 100% of the winning bid will go toward relief efforts led by the American Red Cross in Hawaii to help people affected by the Kilauea eruption. The eruption has been going on for nearly a month and a half; it first started on May 3 and is still ongoing. As of this week, an estimated 700 homes have been destroyed by lava from the volcano, and there's no sign that's stopping anytime soon, USA Today reports .
The Jurassic Park franchise has filmed sequences in Hawaii since the first film. Most filming locations are on Kauai, but there are a few on Oahu and Hawaii Island (also known as the Big Island). Kilauea is located on the Big Island, so damage during eruptions is concentrated there. I really appreciate the team taking this opportunity to give back to the place they've spent so much time photographing over the past 25 years - if you happen to be the winning bidder, your donation would be a great thing to do to the cause.
Good luck to you, my friends. When you're in a compromising position, may you never get eaten by a T-Rex.
