I don't know about you, but I'm slowly starting to breathe the same breath I've been holding since rumors of Beyoncé and Jay Z's impending divorce began to heat up. Most reports claimed that Jay Z and Beyoncé would divorce as soon as the On the Run tour ended, but after the tour ended, Jay Z and Beyoncé remained a couple. Fortunately, even. Whenever I see news reports about Jay Z and Beyonce's divorce, I'm ready to just relax in my seat and start giggling, because, I mean, how do you break up a king and a queen? Yet, at the risk of being caught off guard, part of me can’t help but worry that this is just the calm before the storm. What if Jay Z and Beyoncé are figuring out the best way to separate as we speak?
Beyoncé and Jay Z are both notoriously private people, offering more details about their personal lives in songs than in any interview. When it comes to breaking news stories, they prefer to do it themselves rather than let the media do the detective work. With this in mind, they ignored any opportunity to comment on the divorce rumors and instead announced their separation on their own terms. If they finally make the scary divorce announcement, what form can we expect it to take?
1. Joint Statement
When the elevator door scandal rocked the internet, Beyoncé adopted a happy Instagram approach. When Beyoncé, Jay Z and Solange realized we were okay with it, she issued a joint statement politely saying: "Yes, that happened, now mind yourselves thing, because we’re over it.” The whole world is basically listening, and that’s the power of Beyoncé. When it comes to something so serious, Beyoncé and Jay Z's most likely option is to release a joint statement that's both polite and respectful.
2. Instagram
Beyonce uses Instagram for a lot of things, from selfies to family photos to heartwarming messages marking the end of her tour. She also used it to wish Obama a happy birthday and commemorate Maya Angelou's death, so it wasn't all fun and awesome outfits. If she wanted to make it as light-hearted as possible — especially considering I firmly believe Beyoncé and Jay Z will remain friends after their divorce — then she could announce the news on her Instagram.
3.During VMAs
Maybe subtle and casual isn't the way to go. If Beyoncé wants to cause a stir and then distract us as much as possible by putting on a show that rivals the huge bombshell she just dropped on the audience, she could use the VMAs as her platform to confirm the rumors. (Maybe right before she sang "Single Ladies" ... but that joke might have been too soon.) As Bustle 's Martha Sorren pointed out, Beyoncé has a history of leaking things on stage habits so that you don’t exceed expectations. Features.
4. In their lyrics
One of the many things that has people talking about Beyoncé and Jay Z's marriage on the rocks is a song. During the On the Run tour, Beyoncé changed the lyrics to "Resentment," a song about a romantic partner, to match her relationship with Jay Z. Then there's the "Flawless" remix, which has a line that cheekily references elevator doors. Maybe we'll announce our news in the form of one last Beyoncé and Jay Z collaboration.
5. On her website
In addition to constantly posting photos for people to enjoy, Beyonce.com also operates as Beyoncé's blog to house her thoughts. This is in the same vein as the joint statement, but perhaps the first site you'll find the scoop on Beyoncé and Jay Z's divorce will be Beyoncé's own site. After all, they released the first photo of Blue Ivy herself so clearly, they like to control their media coverage.
6. Not at all
Of course, it would be most private if they made no statement at all. Why is Beyoncé telling us about her love life? Maybe we won't know that Jay Z and Beyoncé have broken up until one or both of them start dating someone new, or until news breaks that one or both of them have moved out of the house. Let's hope this never happens.
Image: Getty Images
