Decades from now, we'll be telling our children's children about Shia LaBeouf's experience of embarking on a movie marathon for the world to see. "For three days, he watched all the feature films in reverse chronological order. We couldn't stop watching him," we'd say as we stared out the window at the non-existent live feed. " We couldn't stop watching him watch. "
As of Tuesday afternoon, actor Shia LaBeouf was camped out in front of a movie screen at New York's Angelica Film Center. Why: #ALLMYMOVIES , a performance art piece by LaBeouf, Rönkkö and Turner . This is a free, open-to-the-public movie marathon that begins with Man Down and ends with Breakfast with Einstein on Thursday night.
For those of us who live on the other side of the country and/or can't make it to the Angelika Film Center this week, there's another way to check out the project: You can watch Shia watch the movie live via #ALLMYMOVIES . That's exactly what I did.
I didn’t have the time (nor the energy) to watch the entire marathon, but I did have time to watch the entire movie with Shia. I used a foolproof method to pick movies: I closed my eyes, pointed at the #ALLMYMOVIES itinerary, and watched wherever my index finger landed. Winner: The Hole , the 2003 live-action film based on Louis Sachar’s novel of the same name.
On Thursday morning, I launched the live stream to watch the movie starting at 12:02 PM ET/9:02 AM PT (according to schedule), hoping my rental would sync with Shia's screening (unfortunately, the live stream had no sound, so I may never know if my timing was correct) and I wrote down my observations. Here’s what I saw while watching Shia LaBeouf watch Holes:
11:42 AM ET/8:42 AM PT - Shia's third day of this marathon. He must be exhausted. I wonder if he will fall asleep.
11:43 AM ET / 8:43 AM PT — I'll start live a few minutes early. Just trying to get my bearings, see what's going on, etc.
11:44 a.m. ET/8:44 a.m. PT — Shia exits. Shia come down.
11:44 AM ET / 8:44 AM PT — Shia is back. call. The movie hadn't even started yet and I was sitting on the edge of my seat. It's been an exciting two hours.
11:55 a.m. ET/8:55 a.m. PT — Shia gets up and leaves. So I guess he could use a break? That's very good. I'm worried about the potential for an under-seat bucket situation.
11:56 AM ET / 8:56 AM PT — I just saw a woman touching Shia's empty chair and saying something. I really wish the live broadcast had sound.
11:58 AM ET / 8:58 AM PT — Shia has not returned yet. I hope he didn't take a nap on the bathroom floor. Popular opinion: Bathroom floors are dirty.
12:00 PM ET / 9:00 AM PT — A woman just held up a painting in front of a live camera. She shook the painting a few times, then placed it on Shia's empty chair. OK?
12:02 PM ET / 9:02 AM PT — Where are the Shia? Should we be worried? I know it's only been seven minutes, but still. I haven't slept for three days. What if he passed out somewhere?
12:02 PM ET / 9:02 AM PT — I start watching the movie now. Let's watch Shia see the hole.
12:05 PM ET / 9:05 AM PT — Shia is back. He is smiling. He raised his eyebrows. He clearly loved the movie. This is a completely new Shia.
12:08 PM ET / 9:08 PM PT — In less than six minutes, I accidentally logged out of my Amazon account/out of my movie rental. Well done, Rohweed. When I tried to pull the movie back, my browser started acting like a goblin. It took me an excruciating few minutes before I could play the movie again. I skipped ahead a few minutes, praying I could still sync up with the Shia screening.
12:09 PM ET / 9:09 AM PT — Shia orders pizza. No wonder he was all smiles. He knew pizza was coming.
12:10 PM ET / 9:10 AM PT — Shia is eating pizza. Now I want pizza.
12:12 PM ET / 9:12 AM PT — Oh, my God. Live feed is frozen. I'm sweating.
12:13 PM ET / 9:13 AM PT — Oh, never mind. No need to sweat. Live streaming is back.
12:17 PM ET / 9:17 AM PT — A scorpion just snuck up on Stanley Yelnats. Stanley panicked. Shia smiled. I laughed.
12:21 PM ET / 9:21 AM PT — Don’t let sleep win, Shia.
12:25 PM ET / 9:25 AM PT — I think someone was walking along the row behind Shia and accidentally hit Shia in the head with a tote bag. But Shia didn't respond. I think it's because he's conserving energy. Smart move.
12:36 PM ET / 9:36 AM PT — Shia just demonstrated some pretty great movie theater etiquette: He didn't hesitate to stand up when someone tried to walk past the row. I really hate it when people give other people a thumbs up.
12:39 PM ET / 9:39 AM PT — Shia laughs out loud in a dialogue-less, uninteresting flashback. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what he was laughing about. Either I didn't exactly synchronize Shia's screening, or his sleep deprivation had become excessive.
12:46 PM ET / 9:46 AM PT — Shia is blinking more than usual. His eyelids looked particularly heavy. Uh oh.
12:49 PM ET / 9:49 AM PT — Sigourney Weaver just hit Jon Voight with her fingernails covered in rattlesnake venom. I cringed. Sia's expression did not change at all.
12:52 PM ET / 9:52 AM PT — For someone who's been up three days in a row, Shia doesn't look chaotic. I applaud him. If I get less than 5 hours of sleep, I look like someone found something stuck to the sole of a shoe.
12:54 PM ET / 9:54 AM PT — Shia is a very attentive and very polite viewer. You would never know he hasn't slept in days. If I were in his situation, I would probably snap and start chewing on the armrest or something.
12:59 PM ET / 9:59 AM PT — Uh-oh. I spoke too soon: Shia leaned the back of her head on the back of her chair. He would get too comfortable. This is a one-way ticket to Snoozetown, USA
1:00 PM ET / 10:00 AM PT — Uh-oh. Shia's eyelids looked heavier than a minute ago.
1:01 PM ET / 10:01 AM PT — Shia is doing this thing where he keeps raising his eyebrows to keep his eyes from closing. I understand this movement all too well; it's why I took a course in the history of ancient philosophy in college.
1:08 PM ET / 10:08 AM PT — Watching someone else watch a movie is so hypnotic. Even relax. It's like staring into a fish tank. Or one of the classic Windows screensavers. I feel very cold now.
1:10 PM ET / 10:10 AM PT — Uh-oh. Shia just covered her mouth with her hands and yawned widely. You're close, Shia. You got this.
1:21 PM ET / 10:21 AM PT — Shia's eyes begin to narrow. He is shaking his head. He is rubbing his face. Shia, get out of the car before it's too late. IT'S GOING TO SNOOZETON USA!
1:23 PM ET / 10:23 AM PT — Shia yawns again. When Shia yawns, I yawn. I don't know why I'm yawning; I'm not tired at all. I guess on-screen yawns are also contagious?
1:26 PM ET / 10:26 AM PT — Oops. Yawning gets hot.
1:27 PM ET / 10:27 AM PT — Is this happening? Is Shia asleep?
1:27 PM ET / 10:27 AM PT — No. He got up. Another false alarm.
1:29 PM ET / 10:29 AM PT — Shia is curled up in a theater chair. I can't tell you how many times I've fallen asleep in the same position in a theater chair. (What can I say? I don’t mess around with showings at midnight.)
1:36 PM ET / 10:36 AM PT — You're almost there, Shia. stay strong.
1:41 PM ET / 10:41 AM PT — With that, the Holes game is over. I think I'm going to take a break for a few minutes, but whatever. I'm close enough.
You lasted until the end of the movie, Shia.
We worked on it until the end of the movie, Shia.
Photos: LaBeouf, Rönkkö and Turner (16); Walt Disney Pictures (4); Christie Rovid/Hustle (16)
