Bustle's Without This Woman is a series of articles honoring the women who change and challenge us every day. This time, we hear from Kanya King, founder of the MOBO Awards (Music of Black Origin), which will celebrate its 25th anniversary on November 30. Below, she reflects on this loving woman—her mother, Mary Folan.
We all have people in our lives who inspire us and help us work harder. In my case, although my mother has passed away, I am inspired by her values of determination, drive, empathy and courage. She has been one of my biggest influences and an incredible role model.
My mum has worked in care all her life - she was an NHS home health nurse and she cared for my father who had been ill for many years. Despite coming from a large family of nine children (I was the youngest girl), with the five of us crammed into a council house, she often took in my brother's homeless friends.
My father is from Ghana and my mother is from Ireland. She came to London when she was about 18, and there were pictures on the windows that said Irish people, black people, dogs. She was ostracized by her family because her partner was black and she had no support network - we had no grandparents, cousins or aunties. She has roots in Kilburn, a predominantly Irish area.
I have been shaped by my environment - growing up witnessing my mother's daily struggle to raise her children and her lack of freedom and independence. She was constantly worried about whether she would be able to pay her rent, her bills, and keep a roof over her head. All of this stress and pressure gave me the drive and motivation to succeed.
When you come from a large family, it's important to create some space. I used to spend a lot of time in the local park - it was almost like a nanny for me. Especially when the weather was nice, my brothers and sisters and I would go out and play rounders. I can still see my mother walking in a hurry because we lost track of time. She would rush toward us along the dewy grass. When you see her, your smile rises. She just wanted to know everyone was okay.
Like my mother, I have a huge drive to not give up, to not give up, to make sacrifices. From an early age, I realized that only I could change my situation. I have great determination. I had dreams, but I knew I needed discipline and focus to make them a reality. I wasn’t out partying – I was looking for ways to contribute to the family finances. I've had many jobs, from selling whistles at carnivals to taking empty bottles back to cafes in the parks in exchange for 5p.
My mother worked tirelessly to provide for her family and the vulnerable people around her. She taught me to think beyond myself and have a community spirit. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve wanted to help people around me. I'm surrounded by incredibly talented, creative people, but sometimes I see them fall by the wayside. They don't get into the creative industry world - getting into the music industry, TV or film very much depends on who you know. People with my background often don’t have access to these opportunities. I want to make a change.
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My mother wanted me to be a teacher—a safe, secure job. I remember when I was a little girl telling anyone who would listen that Kanya was going to be a teacher. I left school early so I failed at that. I felt like I had let my parents down. Whenever I had an idea for a business, she would give me lots of reasons why I shouldn’t do it because she was worried. Finally, I stopped telling her what I thought. I thought, if you do the same thing, you're always going to get the same result, so how do I change that? What risks do I need to take?
Tony Blair and Cherie Blair attended the first MOBO Awards. He was leader of the opposition at the time and his office rearranged his schedule so he could attend. When he arrived, my mother couldn't help but jump on him and tell him what a hardworking daughter she had - basically trying to get me a job. It wasn't until I got my MBE that she thought I was doing OK.
She attended every MOBO Awards while she was alive. It's so nice to have her around and keep the family together. She was always there for any important part of my career. She is like this to all our family members. This year she will join us to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the MOBO Awards.
At age 70, my mother started her own business, a bed and breakfast. When her children grow up and leave home, she can do what she wants and realize her dreams. Recently, I was at an event and a woman came up to me. She said: "I met your mother 17 years ago when I had only one leg left. I didn't know who to turn to for help. I had no money and no place to live. Your mother gave me a place to stay. , I haven’t been charged anything for months. “I thought wow, that’s my mother—a guardian angel. Caring for others is her superpower.
As Aimee Grant-Cumberbatch said. This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.
