Oh, Spotify Wrapped Day, you divisive, shameless little thing. If your Instagram feed is getting a little weird on November 29th, you know it's because the music streaming platform's year-end stats are officially live. While the breakdown of top artists, songs, and genres teaches us a lot about ourselves, there's still more to learn.
Wrap day can be a chaotic day for brain-scrolling, but it sure is a great day to be a nosy person. Every year, Spotify adds new metrics to let you know more about your musical tastes, and this year, the new Sound Town feature (which tells you which city your music selections are best suited to) is really making a splash. But there were still things I wanted to know about myself that Spotify Wrapped and years of therapy couldn't tell me. However, at least.
Read on for a detailed list of the Wrapped listings the Bustle staff hopes we'll get. We all wish we had a year to look back at all the things we almost bought, but don't because shipping isn't free and there aren't statistics on how many times our therapist secretly thought we were annoying. correct?
Your streaming profile
- I spent hours watching Seinfeld instead of starting a new show.
- A movie that I originally had on my list but ended up watching about 84 videos on TikTok.
- The Housewife Package includes my time watching, series I love, and my top five housewives of the year.
"Almost" list
- I almost went to the home team practice, but didn’t because they had Hootie & the Blowfish on their playlist.
- I've almost eaten as many bags of lettuce that ended up turning to mush in the refrigerator.
- How many times have I signed up for a fitness class, almost attended, but canceled in favor of sleeping in.
- I almost spent days making doctor appointments and then forgot about them.
Generational differences in numbers
- I’ve tried several times to incorporate Gen Z slang—the big L—into my vocabulary, but failed.
- How many times have I seen Gen Z girls wearing huge low rise jeans and thinking about the passage of time.
- How many times have I said "kill" to my mother without her asking me what I meant. (zero.)
- An hour-by-hour breakdown of the time I spent explaining pop culture controversies to my boyfriend, including Selena Gomez Blodgett, Ariana and SpongeBob SquarePants, and Traylor. IYKYK.
Pet Pie Chart
- A package for my dog that includes how many times she wakes me up at 4am, how many miles she walks, how many toys she destroys, and how much I spend at the vet.
- The number of times I've said "Big stretch!" to my pets.
rolling statistics
- Taking the time to go into my hidden DMs just to delete spam - like the one from @69dayfiance.
- How many times have I replied "haha" to a meme I've seen before, instead of just telling someone I've seen it.
- Details about high school students who I immediately unfollowed after they had a tough time getting engaged and/or having kids.
- I muted everyone on Instagram and made a list of posts that broke me.
