"Two contestants, one rose. One stays, one goes." That's what a typical date card says to announce the "terrible" two-on-one date in Bachelor Nation. It's a date that no one wants to go on, one that usually brings together two complete opposites: two people who hate each other and, more often than not, two bachelors or bachelorettes who honestly don't care too much of people about. Sometimes, one of the two people on the date is the "villain" of the season, and almost every time it's the villain who goes home. Oh, and it's always "the most dramatic date ever." I'll know: I was on a two-on-one during Ben Higgins' season of The Bachelor ...and then I was sent home.
On Monday night on The Bachelorette , JoJo handed out her second two-on-one date card of the season, this time to Chase and Derek. I'm not entirely sure why these two were chosen for the date, but it was obvious from the beginning that Derek was going home. Whenever the producers start to show that one of the contestants is overconfident, it's a sure sign that he's leaving the show. But, before that, JoJo greets everyone and says, "Let's have fun today!" Well, no. There was nothing fun about that date. Your body can't have any fun. You're fighting for the same person, and that's no fun.
So the three of them went to dance class, sharing the same sensual moves, which was so uncomfortable. Then they all sit down to dinner - which makes it even more awkward - and both Derek and Chase admit their feelings for JoJo, hoping that'll be enough to keep them around, and Derek is eventually sent home. Painful breakup scene. Derek and his man shed tears in the limo while JoJo dances and makes out with Chase to perform "Don't Cry for Me Argentina."
Every two-on-one date is painful—trust me, I’ve been there. Before a date, you always do some contemplative shots—for women, it's putting on makeup, for men, getting your hair gelled. You are also responsible for packing all of your stuff before the date, with the reasonable expectation that there is a 50% chance that you will get home and unpack all of said items. Contestants always had to take their luggage to the living room and leave it there so that when the baggage retriever showed up at the end of the night and removed a bag from the room, everyone not on the date had a shocked reaction. hotel. "Oh my god, that's Olivia's bag! She's coming home!"
As far as actual dates go, this is just too embarrassing. Think of it this way: No one likes to be the third wheel on any date, even if you're just there to support a friend and her boyfriend. But Bachelor Nation's tricycles are much worse. You were with a man or woman you were dating who also made out with your boyfriend or girlfriend and probably talked trash to you. This is a recipe for disaster. So you and the other contestant hop in the car and drive to your date in silence. Seriously, you could hear a pin drop in the car. You stare off into the distance, wishing you were somewhere else, occasionally saying, "Wow, that's a beautiful tree," hoping to start some kind of conversation.
Then, for me, you arrive at a boat dock in the Bahamas and wait for the tour leader to pick you up. The protagonist arrives and runs to you both for a big hug. But who hugs first? What if the two of you try to hug but it turns into an awkward side hug? Do you hold their hand?
After the initial greeting, the Bachelor or Bachelorette will ask you what you've been doing lately, listen to your boring answers because they know you've done absolutely nothing, smile intently, and then ask the exact same question to the contestant next to you. You will participate in some activity together, such as JoJo, Alex, and Chad going on a hike, or Chase and Derek taking a dance class. My season was a little different, considering there wasn't much to do on the island during hurricane-like rainstorms. No moving part would be complete without a few awkward silences, accidentally interrupting someone, and trying to get physical with your date without making them jealous. Talk about a dream date, right?
You will then enjoy some private time with the protagonist before handing out the roses. Now is the time to confess all of your deepest feelings, knowing that there's a good chance you'll be abandoned. Anyone who's been on this date knows that the leader probably doesn't care that much, so there's even more pressure to say all the right things and hope to change your mind. For example, Derek telling JoJo that he fell in love with her during a two-on-one date last night was certainly a grand gesture, but it didn't feel right considering he would be riding home in a limo in just a few minutes Satisfied.
And, while your companions converse with the protagonist (which can take 45 minutes), you sit at the table quietly staring at the food or looking into the distance, occasionally sipping champagne and imagining the worst-case scenario in your mind. We all know what the worst-case scenario for me was: being abandoned and abandoned on an island. Spoiler alert, minutes after Ben and Emily left me, another ship came to pick me up, even though I joked on Instagram that I was stuck in the Bahamas for months.
Here's why every Bachelor Nation contestant calls two-on-one dates "horrible." This is uncomfortable for both the contestants and the team leader. It's the most dramatic date of every season because there are so many stares, awkward silences, and optional third-wheel moments, and, when the bad guys are involved, there's always the promise of trash talk.
America has already had two terrible dates on JoJo's season of The Bachelorette , will there be a third? Last night, she showed she was willing to break the rules by handing out roses to all the remaining men at the rose ceremony instead of sending someone home. Who knows, maybe she'll make history again and make us revisit this two-on-one date. However, for the sake of the contestants and ours, I hope it will be only one-on-one matches from now on.
Photo credit: Olivia Caridi /Instagram; ABC
