Sometimes you meet someone and within the first five minutes of the date you know it's not going to go anywhere. However, every once in a while, someone comes along who has a strong connection with you from the beginning. You want to be with them 24/7, you can't imagine life without them - and suddenly, like a Katy Perry song, they go hot and cold and you have no idea what's going on where. stand. This on-and-off behavior may continue for months until you realize you've wasted all your time and energy on an exhausting situation that will never change. However, no matter how many times you try to tell yourself to let this person go, you just can't. If this situation sounds familiar, you may be in a karmic relationship.
That being said, being in a hot and cold relationship doesn't necessarily mean you're in a karmic relationship. Karmic relationships have certain characteristics that can help you distinguish them from non-karmic codependent, dysfunctional, and even toxic relationships. For everything you need to know about what exactly a karmic relationship is, how to recognize it, and what to do when you're in one, experts spoke with Bustle to break it all down.
What is a karmic relationship?
Simply put, a karmic relationship can be explained as you having a specific type of soul mate, but not the type you might hear in movies, books, and songs. In a karmic relationship, you experience turmoil and challenges with someone as a way to balance your spiritual karma and ultimately help you both grow.
As psychologist and relationship coach Dr. Charmayne Kilcup tells Bustle, there are two kinds of karmic relationships. The first is when you met someone in a past life and you come back to heal what happened between the two of you. The second occurs when you are stuck because of karmic patterns that need healing, such as not standing up for yourself, losing yourself in relationships, or taking advantage of others.
While karmic relationships can be formed with people you've known before, it's not a prerequisite. You can also heal karma with new friends. “No matter what, the point of this relationship is healing and growth,” Kilcup said.
How to tell if you are in a karmic relationship?
The feeling that both parties have always known each other is a hallmark of a romantic karmic relationship. "They may feel so connected to their partner that they [don't] realize that this person needs to address certain issues in their life," professional psychic and spiritual counselor Davida Rapaport tells Bustle. "This is often referred to as 'unfinished business.'"
Karmic relationships are often confused with toxic relationships. However, this is not always the case. According to Kilcup, it really depends on who you are in the relationship with, the type of karma you two share, or the karmic patterns you need to clear individually. You can even enter into a karmic relationship with a soulmate (the person your soul chooses to make a pact with) or a non-soulmate (can be anyone you know). Since soulmate relationships tend to be more emotionally intense than other relationships, being in a karmic state with your soulmate can cause more ups and downs. Kilcup said it can sometimes feel like there's no sense of stability, safety or calm.
When you are in a karmic relationship with your soulmate, you may notice communication breakdowns, personality quirks that drive you crazy, trust issues, or emotional abuse. Because the relationship can feel so intense, it can lead to other unhealthy behaviors, such as ignoring other people in your life to focus on your partner, or constantly making excuses for them. You may find yourself stuck in an on-again, off-again relationship that never becomes more stable. Even when you know you deserve better, you keep coming back.
If this dynamic sounds similar to a toxic relationship, that's because karmic relationships often have a toxic element to them. “Their purpose is to challenge you and help you break the patterns that are holding you back,” Kilcup said. These situations will continue to push you until you are finally ready to grow.
Figuring out what this pattern is takes time and a lot of self-reflection. "For some people, they may learn the karmic lessons of standing up for themselves, understanding their self-worth, and not tolerating being taken advantage of," Kilcup said. "Other karmic patterns we are here to clear. Examples include learning to empathize with someone, learning compassion, learning how to be vulnerable, and learning how to say 'no.'
How to get rid of karmic situations
In order to escape a karmic relationship, you first need to admit that you are in it. According to Kilcup, this is often the hardest part. "It's easy for us to be in denial and say to ourselves, 'But I really love them!'" she said. "Yes, you do love them. But just because you love them doesn't mean you should work with them long-term."
If you and your partner share karma, you both need to be willing to work through your issues. Breaking up with someone doesn't necessarily mean your karmic relationship is severed forever. In fact, Rappaport says, "When you end a relationship without resolving your own issues—which often happens when the relationship is unhealthy—the karmic ties that existed between you may also It may not be terminated."
It's important to note that you don't need to work with the other person to resolve your issues if they're not willing to put in the effort. You don't need to stay in an unhealthy relationship just because you have a strong spiritual connection with them. The lessons you learn in this relationship can also be applied in another relationship with someone else. "Your karmic issues are your own, regardless of other people and your relationships with them," Rappaport said.
Reflecting on your behavior in past relationships can help you figure out what karmic patterns need to be broken. For example, maybe you tend to be very dependent on your partner, or you hide your true feelings to avoid conflict. Whatever it is, take the necessary steps to make some changes. You don't need any specific rituals, crystals, or the help of a spiritual advisor to end a karmic situation. It's all you.
source
Davida Rappaport, Professional Psychological and Spiritual Counselor
Charmayne Kilcup, Ph.D., psychologist and relationship coach
